So, which is worse: being a single lady about town or a mock single lady about town? (For my purposes, I am defining "mock single lady" as a married lady who is sans husband for a social function.) Without intending to be part of any social psychology experiment, I found myself wrestling with the aforementioned question this evening.

My husband is out of town for a few days and I felt it important to re-connect with my love of all things Boston as well as my independent spirit. I decided to attend a Hurricane Katrina fundraiser being held at a swankier-than-thou hotspot which had the potential of attracting the snooty sorts that I often find loathesome in addition to do-gooders that enjoy a decently made cocktail. "Not terribly uncomfortable", I thought, when I entered the room. I had a complimentary martini in hand and was able to take in the wonder of the bar area with it's well-placed blue lights.

I found myself alone no longer when a another single-appearing man decided to chat it up a bit. Somewhat over-focused on his business accomplishments and oddly approval-seeking (e.g. "I have to turn my cell phone off at these events, because otherwise I'm getting called CONSTANTLY..."), he struck me as someone with whom I could exchange a few pleasantries at best, but clearly did not want to get stuck with for the remainder of the evening. When my desire to move away from my curly-haired conversation partner grew stronger, I realized the limitations of my newly appointed role: I couldn't charm my way out of this the way I used to when I was single. First off, I had no female pals to pull me away. Secondly(and this was a new discovery for me, since I have only been married for two months), single men seem to have very little desire to rescue a woman from a conversation with a creepy man when they spot a wedding ring on her finger! I felt desperate! I had nowhere to turn!

After a few panic-y glances around the room, I spotted an older man with a sweet smile and a shrinking hairline (side note: I am aware of how vain and ridiculous I sound...I only add in these descriptive words so the reader can fully understand my frame of mnd). As he passed by a few times, we exchanged smiles and I realized that when I was single, I only wanted to talk to guys that I found attractive; as a mock single, I only wanted to talk to nice looking people that didn't seem like they would hit on me.

So, curly haired man moved away to grab another bite to eat and I felt free to move about the room as a mock single with no attachments to anyone there. Shortly after, Sweet Smile Shrinking Hairline man came up to me to inquire about my perceptions about the event thus far. I swear, I felt completely at ease, until my new conversation partner informed me that he wouldn't be entering the raffle drawing for a 7 night cruise unless he could guarantee that I would accompany him. "I'm married", I informed him. "Oh!" he responded, clearly shocked by my statement (really, from now on, I should wear something that symbolizes being married...a piece of jewelry perhaps, maybe a ring or something. I wonder if I wore it on my left hand and it were shiny and gold that people might notice it...) Well, anyhow, I thought my marriage declaration would shoo Mr. Seemingly Nice Sweet Smile Shrinking Hairline away, but it seemed to pull on a deviant thread...

The questions: "So where's your husband", "are you a trustworthy wife", "were you a beautiful bride", "is this your first marriage" were clearly not steered toward conversational information gathering. It was a creepy new world with with I was thankfully unfamiliar. When my conversation partner stepped away to get another drink I took my opportunity to end my time at the fundraiser, step out into the fresh air, and call my husband on the way to the subway. "Sweetie", I said, " I miss you and I have some funny stories to tell..." I was thankful for an exit opportunity and reminded that it is never easy to be a single lady about town.